You may be a new collector or your family enjoys visiting historical sites, estate sales and museums. A collector of historical home- or romance-based items will be able to easily identify a courting candleholder when they see one. Replicas of these romantic and whimsical candleholders can be purchased today. Courting candles can hold significance in modern times as a comical gift for a father of daughters or for married couples to slow down and spend "courting" time together.
Significance
The courting candle was brought out into the family home when a young woman began to attract serious suitors.
The candleholder was set up in the room where the suitor was allowed to visit with the single daughter of the family. The father, mother or other male family member who lived in the home if the father was deceased or at war would determine how long the suitor could visit. The candle, which was dominant home lighting during this time period, would be the timer that provided a quiet reminder and uninterrupted "date" for the couple.
Function
A courting candle was made from wrought iron, tin, pewter or silver. Most courting candleholders were fashioned by a blacksmith or tinsmith. Replicas of these holders found at museum stores and candle product web sites show a wrought iron piece that resembles a loosely coiled spring. A piece of wood sits just under the taper. The unit has a small peg of metal or wood that can be inserted between the coils and into a drilled hole. This keeps the wooden support in place with the candle set on top of it. The candle can be raised or lowered with this wooden piece that is the basic shape of the candle taper bottom.
History
In the 1600s to 1800s, fathers, parents or guardians of a marriageable young lady would allow suitors to visit her in her home. The couple were allowed to visit in a sitting room, parlor or on the front porch. The father would prepare a candleholder called a courting candle or suitors candle and set it up in the area where the couple sat. The father would observe the suitor and decide an amount of time that he felt comfortable with for the man to visit and socialize. The candle height would be adjusted to measure out the time. The candle was raised or lowered with a peg or thumb lever. When the candle burned to the metal at the top of the candleholder it was the firm yet polite signal that it was time for the suitor to bid the young woman good evening and leave.
Considerations
Fathers from high society to the Amish, on to hardworking farmers and fisherman observed this tradition. Daughters learned that they must respect their parents' judgment concerning the men who presented themselves to the family as a potential husband. She had to defer to her father's ability to measure the honesty, character and ability of a man. The couple also learned to use time wisely as they got to know one another, talking, singing and reading together. The suitor most certainly learned how much the parents loved and cared for their daughter's well-being.
Effects
The father also had the choice to snuff out a candle and immediately end the meeting if he thought it was necessary. If the suitor was highly approved, the father would raise the candle to its highest possible point. This would enable the couple to have a longer, yet supervised visit, as was proper at the time. On occasions a father was known to add a second candle to the holder.
On the day of the daughter's wedding the father sometimes passed the courting candle on to his new son-in-law to for future daughters.
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